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Tag: secrets to a happy relationship

Make Your Relationship the Gift for the Holidays

In honor of the holidays, put your relationship first. Make your relationship the gift for the holidays by making your partner a priority. We can’t allow work, friends, or even our kids to keep us from giving our loved one significant time and attention. We must be intentional each day. Sometimes we lose sight of how to do this in the busyness of work, raising kids, paying bills, etc. However, you can do it! Below are some ways you can make your partner feel special and important.   

Greet Them When They/You Come Home

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This is such a simple thing, but it can be a big deal. No one likes to be ignored, especially by the one person that you care about the most. No matter what you’re doing when they come home, try to at least look up and greet them when they arrive. If possible, also give them a hug and kiss! When you come home, try to greet your partner first before you start to do anything, it shows how happy you are to see them.

Have Date Nights

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You already know how important date nights are! We’ve mentioned it almost in every blog post. However, we know this one can be the hardest. It can be difficult to find the time, money and come up with the ideas. But it’s important to spend some adults-only time without the kids. SpicyBox provides everything you need for an intimate and passionate date night. Order your first box today! 

Talk to Your Partner (Really Talk to Them)

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This is another simple but effective way to show your partner you care. Carve out time during the day to talk to them. Discuss your days, your feelings and your hopes and plans for the future. Talking regularly is a key way to maintain and strengthen your connection. Without it, you will quickly begin to drift apart and find yourselves leading separate lives.

Take Interest in Them

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Make sure to ask your loved one about their day, about their friends, or about what’s been on their mind lately. Take an active interest in them by learning about their hobbies and occupation. Try to also spend days with them doing what they like to do. Couples that show interest in each other’s interests tend to have a stronger connection. It also shows that you’re still interested in learning more about them.

Have Kid-Free Conversations

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Make sure that not all your conversations revolve around what the kids did or said that day. And have conversations that aren’t interrupted by, “Finish your dinner!” or “Don’t skate inside the house!” Spend time talking after the kids go to bed or whenever you can give your partner your undivided attention.

Be Physically Affectionate

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A simple touch, hug, or cuddle can mean so much to your partner, and it obviously doesn’t require much of a sacrifice on your part. It’s an easy way for you to show that you love them. Touching is a key factor to a lasting relationship.

Make Sex a Priority

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This one can also be tough. We know that after you’ve fulfilled all your other responsibilities for the day, you probably feel spent and drained. However, a healthy sexual relationship is incredibly vital to a vibrant and committed relationship. So do whatever you have to do to make it a priority. If you are too exhausted at night, try getting up earlier in the morning, or making good use of nap time on the weekends! Or, if it works for you financially, have regular adults-only getaways for a night or two. You could also take advantage of SpicyBox’s passion tip to help spark up the flame!

Continue to Root Them On

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When people have kids, they attend every concert, videotape every recital and cheer at every game. It’s natural to want to encourage your kids in their endeavors. Do you put the same enthusiasm into being your partner’s cheerleader? At the start of our relationship, we all made sure to support our partner’s ideas and pursue their life goals. After some time, are you still their biggest advocate? After the kids arrive, it’s important to make sure that we continue to cheer on and support our significant other.

The holidays are a beautiful time of year and just remember, make sure you let your partner know how much you love them and appreciate the relationship.

Holiday Bucket List Ideas For Couples

We mentioned in our last blog post the importance of making time for quality time together during the holidays. Try to push aside, present shopping, Christmas decorating and NYE party planning this season in favor of some much deserved couple time. Below are holiday bucket list ideas for couples! 

It’s the season of giving back. Warm your hearts by volunteering together at either a food bank/shelter or other organization that you both feel strongly about.  

When the nights start getting chilly, there are better ways to heat things up than adjusting your thermostat. Heat things up in the bedroom! SpicyBox’s passion tips are sure to get things hot! 

Cook together! Spend the day with your loved one making mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie and all the traditional fixin’s. Working as a team on Christmas dinner can be fun, and accomplishing something together will bring you closer together. 

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Dim down the lights, light up some holiday scented handles, put on some Michael Buble, pour some wine and take a bubble bath! This is a sexy way to relax together in the midst of all the holiday planning. 

If you have time, take a small road trip together. You can make it a mini vacation and stay in a cute bed and breakfast, go skiing at one of the snowier states or airbnb a cabin. Sometimes it’s nice to get away and get some alone time in nature. 

Embrace your inner child; build a pillow fort, have a snowball fight or make a snowman! 

You don’t need to wait for everyone else to show up to have a game night. If you want to make it even more fun, try a two person drinking game. Clothing optional, obviously.

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Put a mistletoe in your home and make out every time you catch yourselves underneath it. Mistletoe isn’t just for G-rated smooches!

Go ice skating! Ice skating is arguably the most romantic winter activity, hold hands and laugh together as you try to some new tricks! 

Cuddle up by the fireplace and have a holiday movie marathon. Afterwards, reenact your favorite romantic holiday movie scenes. Bring role play to a whole new level. 

Make a joint New Year’s Eve resolution to make your relationship even stronger. We suggest reigniting the passion with SpicyBox‘s monthly subscription!  

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Say farewell to 2019 with a kiss – or maybe with something more. 😉

A rewarding relationship should be filled with experiences that create wonderful memories, bring you two closer together, make you laugh and nonverbally say “I love you.” Happy Holidays!   

Get Closer with Your Partner in 45 Minutes

Do you know your significant other? I mean, do you really, truly, deeply know who they are as a person? You may see your significant other at the end of the day and ask “How was your day?” and you go through what you did and what happened. You talk about plans for the weekend and updates from friends, family and coworkers. Couples with kids or full-time jobs have a lot going on, and they get so wrapped up in the day-to-day that they forget to ask each other how they are doing and what they are feeling. Especially if you have known your loved one for a long time, you assume that you know them already and forget that people change and grow with time.

Don’t let the deeper questions fade away, when you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you. SpicyBox’s tips make sure you don’t get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but that you are truly relating to each other emotionally. While you wait for your first or next SpicyBox, check out this quiz from psychologist, Arthur Aron via Greater Good in Action. These 36 questions were designed to boost intimacy and bring partners closer together. 

  • For 15 minutes, take turns asking one another the questions in Level 1 below. Each person should answer each question, but in an alternating order, so that a different person goes first each time.
  • After 15 minutes, move on to Level 2, even if you haven’t yet finished the Level 1 questions. Then spend 15 minutes on Level 2, following the same system.
  • After 15 minutes on Level 2, spend 15 minutes on Level 3. (Note: Each set of questions is designed to be more probing than the previous one. The 15-minute periods ensure that you spend an equivalent amount of time at each level of self-disclosure). 

Level 1: General Traits 

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1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Level 2: Personal Concerns

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13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Level 3: Self-Narrative

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25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them [already].
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

The most important first step in increasing the closeness and connection in your relationship is to prioritize it. That means setting aside time for it. SpicyBox’s unique date ideas encourage a deeper understanding of the person you love.  

8 Secrets of Happy Couples

Relationships can be difficult. Maintaining a healthy, happy relationship requires you to make daily choices that leave your ego behind and to act in the best interest of your relationship. When you see the words, “happy couples” what comes to mind?  You probably think of some friends of yours or a couple you’re acquainted with – and they always seem to be happy. What’s their secret? How do they do it?

According to relationship experts, there are indeed qualities that happy couples tend to share. Let’s look at some of the secrets of happy couples below. Keep in mind that there’s no magic formula and couples must go about it in their own way. However, Consider each as it applies to your relationship and commit to trying to incorporate some of them. 

1. Respect and Kindness – Once the chase is over and we’ve gotten the prize, we often just forget about our partner’s feelings and needs. In lasting relationships, both partners value each other and take care with their words, actions and behaviors. They can both calm themselves effectively during conflict. When there is an issue, respectful communication means you talk about it without bringing up the past and pointing fingers. Happy couples try to learn their partner’s perspective without being so defensive so they can hear the other’s point of view. You can also share your thoughts without dismissing theirs. Ask how you can come to an agreement. You don’t always have to agree, but you should always be respectful and kind.

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2. Thoughtfulness and Consideration- Do all the things for your partner that you would do for your best friend. Try to anticipate their needs and find ways to uplift them. Think about what they need help with and try to be there for them. Thoughtfulness, consideration and kindness is the recipe for lasting relationships. Try to also learn what their love language is. Is it a loving word, a thoughtful gesture, help around the house, or doing something special for them? The better you know what your partner enjoys, the more thoughtful you can be.

3. A sense of humor – couples who laugh together, stay together. Laughter lightens things up when there are hardships in your relationship. Learn to have the capacity to laugh at yourself. Laughing at ourselves instead of judging makes the journey entertaining instead of a constant battle. 

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4. Affection and Intimacy – After some time in relationships, we often forget to show affection toward our partners. We love our significant other but can sometimes get caught up in our everyday lives that we forget to show them we love them. Happy couples tend to make sure to show affection by simple touching, holding each other or kissing for no reason at all. Sexual and emotional intimacy are crucial in a happy relationship. Intimacy creates the feeling of belonging and being loved. Check out SpicyBox’s passion tips!  

5. Trust and Honesty – Honesty and trust become the foundation for everything in a successful relationship. Happy couples take the time to build trust and work at keeping it. It can take a long time to build trust but only a second to break it. Trust is bigger than sexual fidelity, you’re trusting your partner with your fears, vulnerabilities, painful wounds and you’re trusting them to never use them against you. It’s important to be open with your feelings and weaknesses. Learn trust at the emotional, physical and spiritual level. This also means being honest, don’t hide behind lies and deception if you want your relationship to last. Honesty encourages trust and belief in each other. 

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6. Time – Relationships don’t work without time investment. Never have, never will. Any successful relationship requires intentional, quality time together. The relationship with your partner should be the most intimate and deep relationship you have. Therefore, it is going to require more time than any other relationship. SpicyBox can help make sure you make the best out of your time together. Order your first box today!

7. Empathy and Validation – Empathy means trying to understand what your partner is feeling. It isn’t about trying to fix your partner’s concerns and problems, necessarily, but about being able to be there for them. If you can pay more attention to what’s going on with your partner you will find yourself getting closer over time rather than more distant. Validating your loved one shows them that you’re on their side. When you understand and accept what they say, they feel fully seen and heard. When you validate, you accept. And when you accept, you show unconditional love, which is ultimately what keeps people and relationships together in the long run.

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8. Curiosity – Happy couples show interest in each other’s worlds by asking questions. They support each other’s growth and learning of new things. You and your partner will both change over time and being curious together can result in tremendous learning experiences that will strengthen your relationship.

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